What are you thankful for?

Thanksgiving

What are you thankful for?

So much to be thankful for and I do not know where to begin. Each and every day I am blessed with something new to add to my growing list that I keep. This is a list that I am sure to “talk over” with God each night. God has been so good to me, but I have struggled with keeping my faith.

After my surgery I figured that after a few weeks, I would be walking pretty normal, off my pain medications, and limited somewhat. What I did not figure was that was not God’s plan for me. Recovery is difficult and long. It will continue to take its toll on me and I will continue to remind myself that it is not my plan. I am along for the ride! I will trust Him, He has my best interest at heart and know what I need, not what I want.

Each day I realize what a wonderful family I have been blessed with. I have a husband that is honestly my dream “guy”. I love him more and more each day and do not know what I would do without him. Now, that is not to say he doesn’t get on my nerves. Ask him, he’ll tell ya, he does. Especially of late. This is when I remind myself how thankful and blessed I am to have a husband that loves me and would do anything for me. He makes me smile, he makes me laugh, he hugs me when I need it, and leaves me along when I need that. He knows me better than anyone else. He is an amazing husband, father, lover, and friend. I know how truly lucky, blessed and thankful I am to have him!


I am blessed with beautiful, wonderful, brat-like “teen-agers”. My two boys are awesome and amazing. They make me proud each and every day. I still have a hard time with the fact that they are mine…I created them. They are half me and some days you can really tell it. I am also blessed with two awesome step-sons. I love them and love to give them a hard time. They are like their father in many ways and in other ways like their mother. They are great boys, good looking, kind, and rotten. I couldn’t be more blessed.

I am thankful for my friends. I have many who would do anything for me. Those that know me know what a difficult time I have had recently and they are patient with me. They understand that when I ask for help it is a very humbling experience for me. I have found a great friend in the most unexpected of places. Each day I am more and more thankful for her and our friendship. God truly is amazing and some days I think he has worked miracles in my life.


For those that spend time with me daily or occasionally, please know that I will one day be happy, smiling, laughing and joyful again. Please know that this is just a difficult time, but I do know I will make it through it. I have put all my trust in the Lord and I know He will not steer me wrong. Please be patient, please know I mean no harm when I get stressed and yell, and please know that I love each and every one of you.

This year is a year of thanksgiving. I am so very thankful for my life and so very blessed. I give thanks for these things and so many more.


Enjoy your day because I plan to enjoy mine!

Happy Thanksgiving everyone!

Photo of the day

Need I say more?

True love at it's best!!!

Cameron

I can't take credit for taking this picture but I edited it last night. I wanted to share the before and after. I learned how to do the side by side layout from Mckmama (www.mckmama.com) - so excited to share it to. Most of what I did in the editing I learned from reading her blog!


Enjoy (hopefully you can click on the pictures to view it larger) - cause it looks pretty cool bigger :)

Blessings to all,
Chris

Quiet time

I have been a little quiet since finding out that I finally got my surgery approved for the end of this month. It's not because things have been quiet, trust me, not my house. It's actually for a few different reasons.

We have been quite busy in our neck of the woods. There has been classes to attend, homework to be done, food to be made, dishes to be cleaned, laundry to be washed, folded, and put away, counters to wipe, tables to dust, kids to clean, races to attend, games to play, meds to take...you get the picture.

Tyler and Caleb have both received clean bills of health. Caleb has one more doctor's appointment in November to be sure his wrist is continuing to heal the way it should. He is cast free and able to do as he chooses.

My husband finally finished roofing our barn. It wasn't his most pleasant task but he did it anyway. It is typically of our life, as soon as he pulled the roof off, it began to rain. It rained for several days before he could get back up there. While roofing the barn, my step-father-in-law fell and shot himself in the leg with the nail gun.

I have finished two classes and another one finishes tonight. That leaves me with just two classes left for the semester! In January, I am going to start our degree completion program for my bachelor's degree. Nursing has been put on hold momentarily!

My surgery is schedule for October 27. I have been trying to not get to excited about it after the disappointing news in September. I am terrified that I am going to get a cold, the flu, or something worse before then and have to have it postponed once again. With all the flu going around it is completely possible. I need to stay healthy for one more week!

We had a great weekend. Fall break for AU was Friday and I enjoyed my extra day off. Spent time sleeping, visiting the eye doctor, and generally not doing anything. Saturday we raced and Sunday we cleaned. The boys played flag-football in our side yard and then decided to play some kind of dodge ball (with a busted ball) and our dog.

It's going to be a busy week, getting things ready before my sick leave starts! Lots to do and lots to learn! Enjoy your week!

Tyler taking a break from "dodge" ball

Tristan eyeing a "victim"

Caleb thinking "seriously!"


Logan laughing!

Caleb and Tristan playing tug with Tasha!

Glen and Tristan checking out the new iPod

Ricky "Booby" better watch out - Tristan's coming for him!

Check out Ricky Bobby...loser sign for someone!

Ricky chasing Cal!

We are stupid (or die hard fans)...standing in the cold for racing!

Lottery

Yesterday was a very rough day. I left work early because of my back pain. Fortunately, I have a great boss that has been very understanding of my situation. She was great about me leaving early and even indicated that if I needed to be off Friday, to let her know.

On my way home, I received a phone call from a number that I did not recognize. Due to the insurance situation I have been answer ALL calls (even though my habit is to not answer any call I do not recognize.)

Thank GOD I answered this call.

On the other line was Bruce from my insurance company. Bruce informed me that he had good news. Inside I felt like dying. I did not want to get my hopes up for another failure. Bruce informed me that the external review APPROVED my surgery! WOOOOOOOO HOOOOOOO

Then the tears began to flow! I was so happy that I had to pull off to the side of the road because I was crying so hard. The difference this time is they were HAPPY tears! I immediately called my husband to tell him the good news. Because I was crying he instantly said "they denied it again, didn't they?" I cried and cried and said "No...it has been approved. I get my surgery!"

I called my boss to let her know and I had the same reaction from her. She wasn't sure what was going on because of the tears! She sent this e-mail out to my co-workers:

OH HAPPY DAY!

The surgery has been approved! Chris called and wanted me to tell everyone thanks for the prayers. She was so happy, she was crying tears of joy.

Thanks be to God!

When I returned home, I sent a text to many of my family and friends to let them know the good news. I then called the doctor to reschedule the surgery. The next thing I did was call Patsy at Dr. Lilo's office. I wanted to thank her for all her help! Without her and many others this would not have been possible. I am so very thankful.

This has been such an emotional journey for me. I had finally come to terms with such a major surgery, only to have those crushed. I have been hurt, angry, frustrated, depressed, and any other emotion I could muster. Now there is joy! Although, I am still in significant pain, knowing that I am one step closer to healing makes me feel better.

My surgery has been rescheduled to October 27. I have three weeks to get caught up on homework, laundry, dishes, work, and life. Then I begin another journey of healing.

With all this "good luck", I think I might try the lottery!

Chris

Third times a charm?

My 2nd appeal was denied, so I have initiated the 3rd and final appeal. My case is going to an external reviewer for final determination. This reviewer will look at the medical documentation and decided whether or not surgery is necessary. This person is not bound by the guidelines and policies that my insurance company has set in place. If this person (an orthopedic spine surgeon) determines that I do, in fact, need this surgery, then my insurance company MUST pay for it. If this person decides that I do not need surgery, then my insurance does NOT have to pay for it.

I have learned that although my doctor (both original and spine surgeon) have determined that I need surgery, according to my insurance handbook it doesn't meet their guidelines. It doesn't mean that I don't need the surgery - it just means I don't fit in their neat little box that says I do.

I spoke to the gentleman in charge of my external review yesterday. He did get it out the door yesterday afternoon because I asked for it to be expedited. He indicated that the external reviewer has three business days to return an answer to them. He also said he expects to have an answer before the end of the week. So, at the latest, I will have an answer sometime Monday.

I am asking for continued prayers as I struggle through this journey. I have found myself through an emotional roller coaster in the last week. I have struggled with why this would happen to me. I am continuing to struggle with that. I have been hurt, frustrated, angry, and depressed over this situation. I am putting my trust in God, but some days I find that difficult. I know He does what is best for us, I just struggle with the thought that He is wanting me to continue to be in this amount of pain with no alternative other than medication. It doesn't make sense. Someone suggested to me it is what He wants and I don't believe it. I believe there is an outside force fighting with God to interfere with the desired outcome. So, each day I continue to pray for the best.

I lost the first appeal, I lost the second appeal, isn't the saying third times a charm?

More waiting

I filed a 2nd appeal and it was initiated and completed yesterday. I was told they would let me know their ruling as soon as possible. Hopefully I will hear something today.

The 2nd appeal consisted of me answering some questions from a panel of doctors and them reviewing my medical records. It also consisted of me providing additional information that was not in the original packet of records.

In the meantime, I am struggling with the pain. It starts off quite severe in the mornings and I am unable to take my pain medication because I haven't eaten. Once I eat, I try to take 1/2 a pill to get me through the day. It ends up making me quite nauseous and doesn't help the pain most days.

At night, I eat dinner and take a whole pill. By the time it takes affect, I am unable to do much other than go to bed. The nausea if awful and is impossible to function because of it. So, between the pain and nausea, I am not sure which I choose.