Amazing Mckmama Giveaway

Many of you have heard of baby Stellan (who is completely FREE of SVT!!! Praise the Lord). Anyway, his mama (Mckmama) is having an amazing giveaway.

Check out her blog www.mckmama.com and see how you can enter some wonderful photography related materials!!!!!

There are four ways to be enter...go now!!!!

Chris

What are you thankful for?

Thanksgiving

What are you thankful for?

So much to be thankful for and I do not know where to begin. Each and every day I am blessed with something new to add to my growing list that I keep. This is a list that I am sure to “talk over” with God each night. God has been so good to me, but I have struggled with keeping my faith.

After my surgery I figured that after a few weeks, I would be walking pretty normal, off my pain medications, and limited somewhat. What I did not figure was that was not God’s plan for me. Recovery is difficult and long. It will continue to take its toll on me and I will continue to remind myself that it is not my plan. I am along for the ride! I will trust Him, He has my best interest at heart and know what I need, not what I want.

Each day I realize what a wonderful family I have been blessed with. I have a husband that is honestly my dream “guy”. I love him more and more each day and do not know what I would do without him. Now, that is not to say he doesn’t get on my nerves. Ask him, he’ll tell ya, he does. Especially of late. This is when I remind myself how thankful and blessed I am to have a husband that loves me and would do anything for me. He makes me smile, he makes me laugh, he hugs me when I need it, and leaves me along when I need that. He knows me better than anyone else. He is an amazing husband, father, lover, and friend. I know how truly lucky, blessed and thankful I am to have him!


I am blessed with beautiful, wonderful, brat-like “teen-agers”. My two boys are awesome and amazing. They make me proud each and every day. I still have a hard time with the fact that they are mine…I created them. They are half me and some days you can really tell it. I am also blessed with two awesome step-sons. I love them and love to give them a hard time. They are like their father in many ways and in other ways like their mother. They are great boys, good looking, kind, and rotten. I couldn’t be more blessed.

I am thankful for my friends. I have many who would do anything for me. Those that know me know what a difficult time I have had recently and they are patient with me. They understand that when I ask for help it is a very humbling experience for me. I have found a great friend in the most unexpected of places. Each day I am more and more thankful for her and our friendship. God truly is amazing and some days I think he has worked miracles in my life.


For those that spend time with me daily or occasionally, please know that I will one day be happy, smiling, laughing and joyful again. Please know that this is just a difficult time, but I do know I will make it through it. I have put all my trust in the Lord and I know He will not steer me wrong. Please be patient, please know I mean no harm when I get stressed and yell, and please know that I love each and every one of you.

This year is a year of thanksgiving. I am so very thankful for my life and so very blessed. I give thanks for these things and so many more.


Enjoy your day because I plan to enjoy mine!

Happy Thanksgiving everyone!

Photo of the day

Need I say more?

True love at it's best!!!

Cameron

I can't take credit for taking this picture but I edited it last night. I wanted to share the before and after. I learned how to do the side by side layout from Mckmama (www.mckmama.com) - so excited to share it to. Most of what I did in the editing I learned from reading her blog!


Enjoy (hopefully you can click on the pictures to view it larger) - cause it looks pretty cool bigger :)

Blessings to all,
Chris

Quiet time

I have been a little quiet since finding out that I finally got my surgery approved for the end of this month. It's not because things have been quiet, trust me, not my house. It's actually for a few different reasons.

We have been quite busy in our neck of the woods. There has been classes to attend, homework to be done, food to be made, dishes to be cleaned, laundry to be washed, folded, and put away, counters to wipe, tables to dust, kids to clean, races to attend, games to play, meds to take...you get the picture.

Tyler and Caleb have both received clean bills of health. Caleb has one more doctor's appointment in November to be sure his wrist is continuing to heal the way it should. He is cast free and able to do as he chooses.

My husband finally finished roofing our barn. It wasn't his most pleasant task but he did it anyway. It is typically of our life, as soon as he pulled the roof off, it began to rain. It rained for several days before he could get back up there. While roofing the barn, my step-father-in-law fell and shot himself in the leg with the nail gun.

I have finished two classes and another one finishes tonight. That leaves me with just two classes left for the semester! In January, I am going to start our degree completion program for my bachelor's degree. Nursing has been put on hold momentarily!

My surgery is schedule for October 27. I have been trying to not get to excited about it after the disappointing news in September. I am terrified that I am going to get a cold, the flu, or something worse before then and have to have it postponed once again. With all the flu going around it is completely possible. I need to stay healthy for one more week!

We had a great weekend. Fall break for AU was Friday and I enjoyed my extra day off. Spent time sleeping, visiting the eye doctor, and generally not doing anything. Saturday we raced and Sunday we cleaned. The boys played flag-football in our side yard and then decided to play some kind of dodge ball (with a busted ball) and our dog.

It's going to be a busy week, getting things ready before my sick leave starts! Lots to do and lots to learn! Enjoy your week!

Tyler taking a break from "dodge" ball

Tristan eyeing a "victim"

Caleb thinking "seriously!"


Logan laughing!

Caleb and Tristan playing tug with Tasha!

Glen and Tristan checking out the new iPod

Ricky "Booby" better watch out - Tristan's coming for him!

Check out Ricky Bobby...loser sign for someone!

Ricky chasing Cal!

We are stupid (or die hard fans)...standing in the cold for racing!

Lottery

Yesterday was a very rough day. I left work early because of my back pain. Fortunately, I have a great boss that has been very understanding of my situation. She was great about me leaving early and even indicated that if I needed to be off Friday, to let her know.

On my way home, I received a phone call from a number that I did not recognize. Due to the insurance situation I have been answer ALL calls (even though my habit is to not answer any call I do not recognize.)

Thank GOD I answered this call.

On the other line was Bruce from my insurance company. Bruce informed me that he had good news. Inside I felt like dying. I did not want to get my hopes up for another failure. Bruce informed me that the external review APPROVED my surgery! WOOOOOOOO HOOOOOOO

Then the tears began to flow! I was so happy that I had to pull off to the side of the road because I was crying so hard. The difference this time is they were HAPPY tears! I immediately called my husband to tell him the good news. Because I was crying he instantly said "they denied it again, didn't they?" I cried and cried and said "No...it has been approved. I get my surgery!"

I called my boss to let her know and I had the same reaction from her. She wasn't sure what was going on because of the tears! She sent this e-mail out to my co-workers:

OH HAPPY DAY!

The surgery has been approved! Chris called and wanted me to tell everyone thanks for the prayers. She was so happy, she was crying tears of joy.

Thanks be to God!

When I returned home, I sent a text to many of my family and friends to let them know the good news. I then called the doctor to reschedule the surgery. The next thing I did was call Patsy at Dr. Lilo's office. I wanted to thank her for all her help! Without her and many others this would not have been possible. I am so very thankful.

This has been such an emotional journey for me. I had finally come to terms with such a major surgery, only to have those crushed. I have been hurt, angry, frustrated, depressed, and any other emotion I could muster. Now there is joy! Although, I am still in significant pain, knowing that I am one step closer to healing makes me feel better.

My surgery has been rescheduled to October 27. I have three weeks to get caught up on homework, laundry, dishes, work, and life. Then I begin another journey of healing.

With all this "good luck", I think I might try the lottery!

Chris

Third times a charm?

My 2nd appeal was denied, so I have initiated the 3rd and final appeal. My case is going to an external reviewer for final determination. This reviewer will look at the medical documentation and decided whether or not surgery is necessary. This person is not bound by the guidelines and policies that my insurance company has set in place. If this person (an orthopedic spine surgeon) determines that I do, in fact, need this surgery, then my insurance company MUST pay for it. If this person decides that I do not need surgery, then my insurance does NOT have to pay for it.

I have learned that although my doctor (both original and spine surgeon) have determined that I need surgery, according to my insurance handbook it doesn't meet their guidelines. It doesn't mean that I don't need the surgery - it just means I don't fit in their neat little box that says I do.

I spoke to the gentleman in charge of my external review yesterday. He did get it out the door yesterday afternoon because I asked for it to be expedited. He indicated that the external reviewer has three business days to return an answer to them. He also said he expects to have an answer before the end of the week. So, at the latest, I will have an answer sometime Monday.

I am asking for continued prayers as I struggle through this journey. I have found myself through an emotional roller coaster in the last week. I have struggled with why this would happen to me. I am continuing to struggle with that. I have been hurt, frustrated, angry, and depressed over this situation. I am putting my trust in God, but some days I find that difficult. I know He does what is best for us, I just struggle with the thought that He is wanting me to continue to be in this amount of pain with no alternative other than medication. It doesn't make sense. Someone suggested to me it is what He wants and I don't believe it. I believe there is an outside force fighting with God to interfere with the desired outcome. So, each day I continue to pray for the best.

I lost the first appeal, I lost the second appeal, isn't the saying third times a charm?

More waiting

I filed a 2nd appeal and it was initiated and completed yesterday. I was told they would let me know their ruling as soon as possible. Hopefully I will hear something today.

The 2nd appeal consisted of me answering some questions from a panel of doctors and them reviewing my medical records. It also consisted of me providing additional information that was not in the original packet of records.

In the meantime, I am struggling with the pain. It starts off quite severe in the mornings and I am unable to take my pain medication because I haven't eaten. Once I eat, I try to take 1/2 a pill to get me through the day. It ends up making me quite nauseous and doesn't help the pain most days.

At night, I eat dinner and take a whole pill. By the time it takes affect, I am unable to do much other than go to bed. The nausea if awful and is impossible to function because of it. So, between the pain and nausea, I am not sure which I choose.

Frustrated...

Frustrated is how I feel, so I am blogging my thoughts. They are random and probably do not make much sense, but I just need to get it out.

In 2005 I was diagnosed with low back problems. I visited a chiropractor for over a year trying to alleviate some of the pain. In 2006 my family doctor referred me to an orthopedic specialist, Dr. Lilo. Dr. Lilo proceeded to take MRI readings of my back and X-rays. It was determined at that time there was a disk bulge and disk protrusion in my lower back. To help ease the pain, I was given a lumbar epidural (steroid injection). This worked quite well. My pain was eased for the next two years.

In the middle part of 2008, I once again found myself at Dr. Lilo’s office with recurrent back pain. The pain had gotten to a point that it was beginning to interfere with my life. I was unable to assist around the house and lift things that I normally could. I found myself in significant pain when leaning over to fold laundry or help my son’s with their homework. Dr. Lilo repeated the MRI and it was determined that my lower disks were still showing significant damage. Dr. Lilo repeated the lumbar epidural injection in February 2009 (it had to be delayed due to gallbladder surgery in December 2008). After one month, the pain was still quite intolerable. Dr. Lilo repeated the injection for the third time. After one month, the injection failed to eliminate the pain. Dr. Lilo then proceeded to inject with a joint facet injection. Directly inserting the steroid into the joints to help alleviate the pain. This injection also failed. The next step Dr. Lilo insisted on was physical therapy along with wearing a back brace. I went to physical therapy three times a week for over a month, with absolutely no relief. The physical therapists indicated that they were unsure how to help with my pain. After this, Dr. Lilo tried a sacral iliac injection (putting steroid directly into the sacrum area where the joints come together.) This injection also failed.

Finally, Dr. Lilo suggested I see a spine specialist because he was unable to treat me further at this point. I saw Dr. Rick Sasso the middle part of August and after reviewing my information he suggest a test called a discogram. This test would pinpoint specifically where the pain was coming from if it was coming from the disks. The test was completed on August 25 under Dr. Lilo’s care and it came back positive with degenerative disks at the L4/L5 & L5/S1 disks. Dr. Lilo’s referred me back to Dr. Sasso.

I met with Dr. Sasso and he gave me two options. Leave it alone if I felt it did not debilitate my daily living or surgery. By this time I have went from using pain medication for relief maybe twice a week to every day. My opinion is that is does impair my daily living, so Dr. Sasso and I agreed the only other option was surgery. The surgery consisted of a lumbar spinal fusion.

My surgery was schedule for Tuesday, September 29. On Thursday, September 24 I received a letter from my insurance company (Anthem) indicating this surgery was not medically necessary. This is the same insurance company that has covered each and every one of my prior visits, including the discogram. I filed an expedited appeal on Friday, September 25. I called Dr. Lilo’s office and they faxed to my insurance company the documentation from the past four years.

Monday, September 28, 2009 I received a call from the insurance company that the appeal has been denied.

I live in severe pain each and every day. I cannot function to the ability that I normally function. I must get up every 20 minutes or so and walk while I am working. If I am standing for more than 20 minutes I must sit down. I cannot exercise as it puts too much stress and pain on my back. I cannot lift items, I cannot do my laundry because it requires me leaning over to put items in or picking up laundry baskets. I cannot sit in my classes to finish my education. I cannot sit to do my homework, the pain is too unbearable. If I take my pain medication I get sick to my stomach. It makes me drowsy, therefore I cannot take it while I work, drive, or go to school. I have had to leave classes early due to the pain or the medication. I have missed work because of the amount of pain I am in.

I work 40 hours a week and take 14 credit hours in college. I am a mother to four boys (ages 14 – 10) that are active in sports. I cannot even sit in the bleachers to watch their games because the pain is too severe.

I do not want to live on addicting pain medicine for the rest of my life!!! I have taken all the necessary steps to take care of this problem and treat it, but my insurance company is telling me fixing it is not necessary.

So am I supposed to go on disability? Am I supposed to quit my job because I can’t function? Am I supposed to quit school because I can sit in the sits and I can’t take pain medicine to make it through the night?

What is someone supposed to do in this situation? I pay a lot of money for health care that is supposed to help me. It isn’t helping me, it is forcing me to become sedentary and lose what abilities I have. Is this the kind of nation that we want? I do not live on assistance from anyone. My husband lost his job more than 3 years ago and we NEVER once asked for assistance. We work hard and thought we lived in a nation that takes care of its people. How can insurance companies dictate my standard of living?

I want to be healthy and free of pain. I am aware the surgery may not get rid of it 100% but I want to be able to function again. I want to wake up and not groan because I would rather be sleeping where I am pain free (when I can sleep.)

What is an American citizen supposed to do?

I have filed a 2nd appeal but I have since had to cancel my surgery. I had made childcare arrangements for my children while I would be in the hospital. My husband (who has found part-time work) made arrangements with his employer to be with me. I made arrangements with my employer to be off 6 – 12 weeks (without pay) and now I cannot have the surgery. I even had to pay $25 (out of my own pocket) for special insurance forms for my employer. That is what the doctor’s office charged to fill out FLMA paperwork and now I am out that money!

I am angry, hurt, frustrated, and in severe pain!!! What is a person supposed to do? I even had to leave class early last night because the pain was so severe and the medication made me so sick that I couldn't function.

I need this surgery to return to a somewhat normal life. I need relief from the pain...even the possibility of that is far better than what I deal with on a daily basis.

I am continuing to pray for a miracle. I am continuing to pray that the insurance company sees that it is creating a much worse environment by allowing its members to suffer.

I am continuing to put all my love and trust into God. It's all I can do.

Latest on my surgery

As of right now, my appeal has been denied. I am working on whatever options I may have available.

Continue to pray.

Requesting a miracle-updated

Friday Afternoon Update

I did not receive a call about the appeal, so I have to wait until Monday morning. Continue to pray, please.

Another update

I received a call from the insurance company indicating the appeal is in process. I may know something this afternoon. If not, I won't know until Monday morning.

********UPDATED*********

I received a call back from my original doctor, they have faxed (upon my request) all my clinical paperwork since I have been at their office for this problem. The faxed CT scans, MRI's, epidural injection information, and anything that pertained to my back.

I received another call from my insurance company indicating that if they received it before 2:00 p.m. I should have an answer before 2:00 p.m. on Sunday, but they would try to get it taken care of today.

PRAY for approval!

Original Post

I received a letter yesterday from my insurance company denying benefits for my surgery. I have spoken with the doctor's office and they indicated I needed to be my own advocate (WTF) and fight the insurance company. I have left a message with the insurance company appeals department (expedited appeal section) and I have called and left another message for my original doctor (that I have been seeing for 4 years about this problem).

I am frustrated and in severe pain. The claims department said they would expedite an appeal if the person is in "severe pain that is unmanageable". I am at that point. I cannot sleep, stand, sit, or walk without pain. The pain meds make me very nauseous and tired so I can't take them at work (besides the fact they don't even begin to touch the pain itself - kind of like putting a bandaid on an amputation.)

I paid $25 (of my own money) to have the FMLA paperwork filled out (that is what my doctor's office charged me for special insurance forms.) If I don't have the surgery on Tuesday, then I am going to have to pay the $25 again to have new paperwork filled out when I can get the surgery approved. My doctor's office said if I could come up with half of his charge ahead of time they would proceed (his charge is $45,624 - so I would need $22,812). She then indicated to me that she could try to talk the doctor into taking half of the $22,812 as a first payment so we could proceed. That is fine and dandy but we DON'T have that kind of money. We are living paycheck to paycheck with my husband working part-time (finally).

Ok...now the ranting part. I pay VERY good money(read I pay LOTS of money) for my insurance. The cost of this insurance reduces my bi-weekly paycheck in half! Why the hell I am paying that kind of money for them to not take care of my needs?

I am pissed, hurt, angry, sad, and discouraged. I am depressed and in severe debilitating pain. do they think I really want to have a surgery that is going to put me out of work for over six weeks. Six weeks in which I will NOT receive a paycheck because I don't have sick time banked? Seriously!

Now, I am waiting on a return call from my original doctor. I need to get those records to my insurance company. I need it YESTERDAY, not in twenty minutes, not in two hours,...grr!

Do you know how it feels to sit, stand, or walk with such pain? To have it shooting through your back almost dropping you to your knees at times?

Why wouldn't this surgery be medically necessary? I virtually have no disks left in my lower spine.

Sorry, but I am pissed. My sentences make no sense and I don't care.

I need a miracle.

My boys-School Photos

I took some new pictures of my boys tonight. They are growing up so fast. It's hard to believe that I have boys this age. It seems like just a couple of years ago that I was in 8th grade, now my oldest son is.

Enjoy the pictures...

Tyler J.

2009-2010

Caleb K.

2009-2010

Caleb K. & Tyler J.

2009-2010

Tyler & Smiley

2009-2010

Fun Shot

Caleb K. & Smiley

2009-2010

Fun Shot

Take the Time

Ever heard the phrase "If it weren't for bad luck, we'd have no luck at all?" I feel that has become our motto.

Over the past year a myriad of personal "tragedies" have overtaken our lives. Each one in it's own way devastating. Each time we survive only to find ourselves thrust into another "tragedy". A recap, if you will:

Two weeks ago tomorrow, Caleb broke his wrist. He is doing much better but the break ended his football season.

Two days ago, Tyler was rushed into emergency surgery to remove his appendix. It was on the verge of rupturing (fortunately it didn't) and needed to be removed quickly. The day started like any other, only his stomach was hurting. By noon he was being admitted to the hospital and by 2:30 he was in surgery. He is resting comfortably (as much as possible) and waiting to be discharged. It looks like he can go home tomorrow. The surgery has effectively ended his football season also.

Over the past year the events that have taken place in our lives seem to overwhelm us at times. It all began with a family member trying to take her own life, a month later my father-in-law passed, a month after that I was hospitalized for several days, our finances have been hit hard, I have had major back issues (which look like surgery will be needed), and then Caleb and Tyler with their latest injuries/illnesses.

I feel strongly that everything happens for a reason. I believe that God will bring me through it all and I will be a stronger person. I believe that as bad as it seems, things could be so much worse. But most of all I believe that I have the best family a person could ask for and without them I would not be able to survive. God is always by my side and without Him nothing is impossible. I feel the same way about my family.

Take time to hug your loved ones. Take time to tell your children how much they mean to you. Take time to call an old friend. Just take the time.

Have a great labor day weekend.
Chris

Twists & Turns

Many things in life can seem to push us to our limit. Lately for me it has been an overwhelming amount of things. It seems some days that if it is not work, then it is school, if it is not school then it is the kids, if it is not the kids then it is my relationship with their dad, and so on. I have been trying my best to keep my perspective on everything. I have great luck some days and other days the "luck" gets away from me.

A new start is upon us. The start of a school year for the boys and the start of a new school year for me. Summer is over as is baseball that occupied every waking moment of our time. Now we have moved on to football and we continue to submerge ourselves in racing.

The boys are now in 8th, 7th, and 5th grade. Tyler is the "big dog" in his school and is relishing being in this spot. Tristan has just entered Middle School so it's quite a new venture for him. He seems to be adjusting well. Caleb and Logan are both in 5th grade, with Caleb being the "top dog" at his school and Logan having another year before he gets there.

Tyler is playing football again. This year he is on the 8th grade team and so far no broken bones. If you recall last year, he broke his collar bone in the first 15 minutes of his VERY first practice.

Caleb is also playing football. He is the teams only quarterback. He is doing a great job and has really impressed the coach with his skills.

I start classes back this week, so again my schedule will be full and busy. I also go for another test on my back Tuesday to determine our next step.

Glen has also decided that he wants to race. I'm not sure how that is going to go. His buddy is racing and painted his kart just like "Ricky Bobby's" and if you have seen the movie you will understand. The track staff said Glen has to be Frenchie, but he wants to be Cal...life is going to be interesting at the track each Saturday.

Sunday was a difficult day around our house. We rushed Caleb to the ER Sunday evening with a possibly broken wrist. He and his brothers were playing on the trampoline and Caleb fell down. Tyler fell on top of him and smashed his wrist.

We went from one ER to another and were met by a bone specialist. His wrist is broken in three places and they were able to set it back in place. He has a cast that goes from his fingers to his shoulder. There goes his football career.

I am taking life's twists and turns as they come. I know that I am not given anymore than I can handle. I continue to pray that I will be lead down the right path and make the right choices. Sometimes things are so overwhelming that I want to throw in the towel, but I know I will make it through each of these challenges.

The Condensed Version

So much has been going on in my life, let's see if we can condense it quickly.

I won a trip to Wisconsin to see Rodney Atkins for two, plus two meet & greets. I took my sister, Becca with me.



I saw Rodney again two days later at the Elkhart County Fair in Goshen, Indiana. Which is the very first place that I ever saw him (2 years ago.) Glen couldn't go with me this year, so his ex-wife, Angie went with me.


I was asked by a friend to be her wedding photographer. I have never done this before, so I figured it would be very interesting. Good thing it was an informal wedding. I am still working on editing those pictures, but here are a few.


The boys and I went to Mounds State Park and played in the river. It was fun and Caleb caught a craw-dad.

We are still spending every Saturday night at the race track (until October) watching Tristan race.

I caught a terrible summer cold and am still trying to get over it.

I start classes back on August 31.

The boys start school on Tuesday.

Whew....that's the condensed version (with photos!)

I hope you enjoyed your summer!

Pray for Stellan - Urgent Need

Please pray for Stellan!

This baby needs our prayers.

Visit www.mycharmingkids.net to read his story. You can also read his mom's twitter updates at www.twitter.com/mckmama He is in desperate need of prayers RIGHT now.

Chris

Ketchup

I haven't had much time to blog lately and I apologize. I spend lots of time on twitter and facebook, though. So if you want to know what I am doing on a daily basis find me there. If not, well then it's time to "ketchup" on everything that's been happening around here.

Tyler turned 14 last week. I still find it hard to believe that I am a mom to a 14 year old. Not only that he is 5' 10" tall! Seriously, I measure him just last night. We took this picture at the river yesterday and I was wearing heels! Holy cow, he is getting tall!

Me and Tyler, July 6, 2009

I made cookies (they were so good and looked it I had to post a picture!)

We had friends over this past weekend. Or more precisely Logan had a friend stay Friday night. Tristan stayed with a friend Saturday and then the friends stayed with the boys on Sunday.

We had a 4th of July cookout (in the rain) to celebrate our nation's independence. I told my husband that I made too much food to let it go to waste! LOL We had fireworks, food and fun!

I have had another back injection (failed) and physical therapy (failed) and back brace (failed). I go see a specialist in August to determine if I need back surgery. Until then I am in an intense amount of pain that makes me very grumpy. I tried to do my best to not be but that is not always possible.

I am not doing well in my summer classes specifically because I just don't have time. I did not complete my mid-term for ANPII this summer so I guess I failed that class. I am also two assignments behind in my American Civ class. I just don't have time for school right now.

Oh well, such is life.

I still am very blessed to have the people in my life that I do. I have a wonderful family, an amazing husband, awesome children and great friends. I am so very thankful!

Now you are all "ketched up"!

Take care and be blessed,

Chris

14 Things I Love about Tyler

Today is my oldest son's 14th birthday. I honor of him, I am listing 14th things I love about him.

1. His smile


2. His laid back attitude


3. His thoughtfulness


4. His willingness to let me kiss him, even when his friends are around


5. His hugs


6. His love for his family


7. His sense of adventure


8. His blue eyes


9. The way he sleeps with his arms over his head, still


10. That he loves my hamburgers more than anyone elses


11. His laugh


12. His willingness to accept everyone


13. The way he acts like he doesn't love his brother, but if someone is picking on him he steps in and sticks up for him


14. That is he my son!

Tyler, I am so proud to be your mom. Each of every day you do something that amazes me. It is so hard for me to believe that you are growing up so fast. I am so afraid to blink, before I know it you are going to be a grown man on your own.

Hold fast to the person you are. You are very special and unique. Never let anyone change you. The best things that have ever happened to me are you and your brother. Thank you for being wonderful and being my son!

I love you more than you can ever imagine. One day, when you have your own children you will begin to understand the depths of my love.

Memories

I was given the best picture last night from an old friend of my moms. I am going to cherish this picture as I only have one other of me and my parents while they were still married.

If you are wondering where I am....she is pregnant with me!

October 27, 1973

Notice the cigarette in my mom's hand!

Thanks, Becky! I appreciate this so much!

Goodbye

I have been a complete blog slacker. Not because I don't want to blog, only because I just haven't had the time.

Since my last update a lot of things have been happening.

I started my Anatomy and Physiology II class - online. I will start dissecting a pig this week.

I went to Nashville, TN for one day last week. I went for the CMA Music Fest and had a great time. I saw some great friends and enjoyed some even better music. Rodney's fan club party was nice and intimate. I was on the front row, center stage. He was literally 3 feet away from me. It was nice to see him again. His family was there and they were wonderful. His mom and Dad and his wife and son all mingled with the fans. The posed for pictures and even did interviews with GAC.

Blake Shelton's fan club party was large and full of surprises. He had an opening act, Damon Smith. He had special guests Craig Morgan, Megan Shehan, Keith Anderson, Miranda Lambert, Nan Kelly, and Steve Wariner. It was a blast.

The most eventful thing happened right before I went on vacation. My little girl (my dog Maddi) started acting strange last Sunday. She was fine Saturday night, but Sunday she was disoriented, walking in circles, not eating and falling down. She was having accidents in the house and was just not herself. We took her to the vet Monday and they were unable to find the cause of her issues.
We brought her home and he deteriorated over the course of the week.
Monday, we made the painful decision to let her go. She was my angel and I am lost without her.

I will miss her countersurfing for pork chops.
I will miss her ignoring me and putting her back to me.
I will miss her standing over my feet for a belly rub.
I will miss her groaning at me while I ate my food.
I will miss her growling at Tasha when she took her food.
I will miss her shy way around strange men.
I will miss the thump of her tail when you walked in the room.
I will miss the way her tail wagged in circles when I drove up the driveway.
I will miss the smell of her frito feet.
I will miss her big brown saggy eyes.
I will miss her...forever.
Goodbye, my precious angel. We love you!

Good times w/good friends

We have a very busy Memorial Day weekend. Alright, so what's so new about that, most days in my life are very busy!


Friday baseball was canceled (not really but my son went out of town with his dad so I didn't go to the game). So instead I spent it hanging with a great girl getting my car washed and shopping for cookout supplies. She is a wonderful teenager that I don't mind spending time with. I still say that I am so glad I have boys, but it's nice to have a girl to talk to occasionally!

Saturday was cleaning house during the day and going to the races at night. It was a pretty eventful night and some tears were shed. Not quite as bad as the prior weekend when I thought we were going to be in the ER all night long. There were no wrecks this weekend, just a very HOT motor and a DNF (did not finish). The DNF did not help in our points standing, especially since we had a DNF from the week before. Oh well, we learned something new and if you don't learn from your mistakes...


Sunday we had friends over for a cookout. We listened to the Indy 500 on the radio. It was a wonderful time. It was pretty small group this year, mostly friends from the track. A couple of our other friends showed up and we had a great time. Great food, good drinks, and somewhere there was a water fight!

Monday, I spend the day doing absolutely nothing. Well, not exactly, I did do some laundry. But other than that - nada, zilch, zero....nothing! It was great! We watched the Nascar race - stupid rain outs.

Well, that's my week. Pretty short and sweet. We had fun and hope to have more cookouts again.

Chris